Wife

Q. What do you call a Hippies wife?

A. Mississippi.  😃

Traffic Light

Q. What did one traffic light say to the other traffic light?

A. Don't look!  I'm changing.  😃

Humpty Dumpty

Q. Why did Humpty Dumpty love Autumn?

A. Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall!  😃

Sheep

Q. What do you call a sheep who gives encouragement and support?

A. A wool comforter. 😃

Lettuce

Q. What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?

A. Chicken sees a salad! 😃

Clever

Q. What is another name for a clever duck?

A. A wise quacker 😃

Glasses

Q. What do you call a potato wearing glasses?

A. SPEC-tator.  😃

Phone

Q. Why didn't the pirate's phone work?

A. Because he left it off the hook. 😃

Ring

Q. What kind of ring is always square?

A. Boxing Ring! 😃

Apple

Q. What kind of apple isn't an apple?

A. A pineapple!  😃

Party Game

Q. What is a cow's favorite party game?

A. Mooos-icicle chairs!  😃 

Vegetable

Q. What vegetable is a sailor's worst enemy?

A. Leek!  😃

Books

Q. Where do books hide when they are scared?

A. Under the covers. 😃

Cowboy

If you wear Cowboy clothes are you Ranch Dressing?  😃

Moon

Q. How do you know when the moon is going broke?

A. When it's down to its last quarter. 😃

Smurf

Q. What do you get when you cross a Smurf and a cow?

A. Blue Cheese 😃

Rock Group

Q. What rock group has four guys that don't sing?

A. Mount Rushmore!  😃

Sick

Q. What does a snowman take when he is sick?

A. A Chill Pill 😃

Skeleton

Q. Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

A. He had no-body to go with.  😃

Video

Q, How does a dog stop a video?

A. He presses the paws button. 😃

Ticket

Q. What driver never gets a ticket?

A. Screwdriver.  😃

Bars

Q. Why don't they allow dogs in bars?

A. Because most of them can't hold their licker. 😃

Bowling

Q. What kind of cats like to go bowling?

A. Alley Cats 😃

Fever

Q. What do you give a dog with a fever?

A. Mustard.  It's the best thing for a hot dog. 😃

Lightning

Q. Why does lightning shock people?

A. Because it doesn't know how to conduct itself  😃

Spies

Q. What do you call it when one cow spies on another?

A. A Steak Out!  😃

Waffle

Q. What do you call a waffle on the beach in California?

A. Sandy Eggo! 😃

Horses

Q. What kind of horse go out after dusk?

A. Nightmares 😃

Reading

Q. What do you call a person who loves reading?

A. A Book Keeper  😃