Teacher's Job

A teacher's job is to take a room full of live wires and make sure they are well-grounded. 😜

Italians

What do Italians eat on Halloween?
Fettuccine Afraid-O.😜

Appreciate

You never appreciate what you have until it's gone.
Toilet paper is a good example. 😜

Word

Today I realized the word
'bed'
actually looks like a bed. 😜

Ticket

You must be a parking ticket
cause you have FINE
written all over you. 😜

Dentist

Dentist: "You need a crown." Patient: "Finally someone who understands me." 😜

Dead Or Alive

If you think no one cares if you're dead or alive miss a couple of credit card payments. 😜

Drop

Q. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?

A. Squash. 😜

Trees

If money did grow on trees, autumn would be the best season ever! 😜

Tuck

Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.
That’s just how I roll. 😜

Spray

A man picked up a can of fly spray and asked the sales clerk, “Is this good for wasps?”

He answered, “No, it kills them.”  😜

Number

What do you call a number that can’t keep still? A roamin’ numeral!  😜

Plants

Why do plants hate math?

Because it gives them square roots.  😜

Worries

Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case. 😜

Speed Limit

Yes, officer, I saw the speed limit I just didn't see your car. 😜

Expected

Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected? 😜

Bath

Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get. 😜

Mature

We're all mature until someone pulls out the bubble wrap. 😜

Keys

What keys can't open locks?

Donkeys, Monkeys, Turkeys. 😜

Milk

Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks, "Would you like the milk in a bag?"  reply, "No, just leave it in the carton!" 😜

Plants

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. 😜

Math

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.  😜

Things

From there to here. And here to there. Funny things are everywhere. 😜

Shout Out

Shout out to my fingers I can always count on them. 😜

Programmers

Why are programmers no fans of the outdoors?

There are too many bugs. 😜