Thursday

Q. Which days of the week are the dizziest?

A. Thurs-Daze.  😜

Diet

I have been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is 14 days. 😜

Tuesday

Q. What was Noah's favorite day of the week?

A. TwosDay!  😜

Monday

Why was Sunday afraid of Monday?

Because Monday through Friday 😜

Sunday

Why are Saturday and Sunday the strongest days of the week?

Because the rest of the days are weakdays!  😜

Envelope

No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery. 😜

Candle

Does a blue candle burn longer than a pink candle?

No they both burn shorter. 😜

Beaches

What washes up on tiny beaches?

Microwaves  😜

Hairdressers

Why are hairdressers never late for work?

They know all the short cuts 😜

Parents

What man in the Bible had no parents?

Joshua, son of None  😜

Comedian

Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?

Samson. He brought the house down.  😜

Smartest Man

Who was the smartest man in the Bible?

Abraham. He knew a Lot. 😁

Adam

At what time of day was Adam created?

A little before Eve.  😜

Hawk

Why did the hawk sit on the church’s steeple?

It was a bird of pray.  😜

Race

Who was the fastest runner in the race?

Adam. He was first in the human race.  😜

Solomon

Where was Solomon’s temple located?

On the side of his head. 😜

Ark

Why didn't they play cards on the Ark?

Because Noah was always standing on the deck. 😜

Easter Egg

Easter egg hunts are proof that your children really *can* find things without Mom's help. 😜

Turtle

What do you call a turtle who takes up photography?

A snapping turtle. 😜

Kleptomaniacs

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally 😜

Spa

What is often given at spa's after April ?

A May-ssage  😜

Cowboy

What do you call a happy cowboy?

A Jolly Rancher  😜

Egotists

Two egotists started a fight. It was an I for an I! 😜

Addicted

I was addicted to the hokey pokey... but thankfully, I turned myself around. 😜

Salesman

What’s a salesman’s favorite Scripture passage?

The Great Commission 😜

Hymn

What is a dentist’s favorite hymn?

Crown Him with Many Crowns 😜

Baseball

That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home! 😜

Rough Time

Coffee has a rough time in our house. It gets mugged every single morning!  😜