Bang

Q. What does it mean if you were born in September?

A. That your parents started the New Year with a bang! 😄

Runs

Q. What always runs and never walks, has a bed but never sleeps?

A. A River 😃

Salt

Q. What did the salt say to the sugar?

A. What's shakin'? 

Sausage

Did you hear the joke about German sausage?

It was the wurst!  😄

Thesaurus

Q. What did the thesaurus eat for breakfast?

A. A synonym roll!  😃

Hot Or Cold

Q. Which runs faster hot or cold?

A. Hot! Everyone can catch a cold. 😄

Waffles

Q. What are waffles?

A. Just pancakes with abs. 😃

Santa

Q. What do you call Santa Claus when he doesn't move?

A. Santa Pause 

Musical Instrument

Q. What musical instrument do you use every night before bed?

A. A tuba toothpaste.  😃

Tuba

Q. Why did Larry keep his tuba in the refrigerator?

A. Because he likes cool music. 😄

Gingerbread Boy

Q. Why did the gingerbread boy stay home from school?

A. Because he felt crummy. 😄

Pot

Q. Why did the cow return to the marijuana field?

A. It was the pot calling the cattle back. 😃

Job

Q. Why didn't the koala bear get the job?

A. Because he wasn't koalafied. 😄

Knight

Q. What do knights do when they are afraid of the dark?

A. They turn on the knight light! 😃

Marshmallow

Q. What do you call an emotional marshmallow?

A. Mallo Dramatic 😄

False Teeth

Q. What do you call George Washington's false teeth?

A. Presi-dentures! 😃

Lamb

Q. What do you call a dancing lamb?

A. A baaaaa-lerina!  😄

Crackers

I had cheese, but no crackers.

I was cracka-lackin.  😃

Spiders

Q. What do spiders like to do on the computer?

A. Make websites!  😄

Wedding

Q. Why is a horse like a wedding?

A. They both need a groom!  😃

Work

Q. How does a Snowman get to work?

A. Byicicle  😃

Buzz

Q.  What do you call a bee with a hard-to-hear buzz?

A. Mumblebee!  😄

Sheep & Cow

Q. What happens when you cross and sheep and a cow?

A. You get an animal in a baaaad mooood 😃

Helpers

Q. What's another name for Santa's helpers?

A. Subordinate Clauses  😄

England

Q. Why is England the wettest country?

A. Because the Queen has reigned there for many years. 😃

Smell

Q. What did one snowman say to the other?

A. Do you smell carrots? 😄

Chew

Q. Why did the horse chew with his mouth open?

A. Because he had bad stable manners.  😃

Poof

A Mexican magician says he will disappear at the count of 3.  He says, "Ono, dos...*poof*... he disappears without a tres!  😄

Face

Q. What kind of flower grows on your face?

A. Tulips  😄