Farmer

Q. What does the farmer talk about when milking cows?

A. Udder nonsense!  😃

Pea

Q. What do you call a smiling pea?

A. Happ-pea!  😄

Road

Q. Why did the cow cross the road?

A. To get to the udder side. 😃

Ear

Q. What do you call a snowman with a carrot in each ear?

A. Anything you want. He can't hear you! 😄

Horse

Q. What do you call a horse that lives next door?

A. A neigh-bor!  😄

Chicken & Ducks

Q. What do you call it when it rains chicken and ducks?

A. Foul weather! 😃

Cowboy

Q. What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?

A. Doggone it!  😄

Lemon

Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon?

A. A Sour Puss!  😄

Cinderella

Q. Why isn't Cinderella good at soccer?

A. Because she always runs away from the ball.  😃

Wedding

It was an emotional wedding.

Even the cake was in tiers.  😄

Parties

Q. Why does the mushroom get invited to all the parties?

A. Because he's a FUN-GI! 😄

Strange

Q. What did one snowman say to the other?

A. Don't you find it strange that Bob never came back from Florida? 😃

Skunk

Q. Why do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?

A. Because they are scent-imental. 😄

Elephant

Q. What's a big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

A. It's shadow. 😃

Books

Did you return your books late?

Why?

Because you have fine written all over you. 😄

Mountains

Mountains aren't just funny.

They're hill areas!  😄

Cupcake

Q. Why didn't the teddy bear eat his cupcake?

A. Because he was stuffed! 😃

What's?

Q. What's black when you get it. Red when you use it, and white when you're through with it?

A. Charcoal  😄

Milk

Q. What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?

A. An udder failure!  😃

Violin

Q. What do you call a cow that plays the violin?

A. Moosician!  😄

Talk

Q. What happens when you talk to a cow?

A. It goes in one ear and out the udder. 😃

Reads

Q. What reads and lives in an apple?

A. A bookworm!  😄

Bagel

Q. What kind of bagel can fly?

A. A plane bagel. 😃

Ant

Q. What do you call a well-dressed ant?

A. Eleg-ant! 😄

Wool

Q. Where did the sheep go to get his wool cut?

A. A baaa-baaa shop!  😃

Telephone

Q. What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone?

A. A golden receiver.  😄

Owl

Q. What do you call an owl that does magic tricks?

A. Hoodini!  😃

Catch

Q. What can you catch but not throw?

A. A cold  😄

Puns

Q. Why is it hard to explain puns to a kleptomaniac?

A. Because they always take things literally.  😃

Resolution

Q, What is a New Year's Resolution?

A. Something that goes in one year and out the other. 😃