Go Stop

Q. When do you go at red and stop at green?

A. When you're eating watermelon! 😃

Someone

Q. What do you call someone with no body and a nose?

A. Nobody knows. 😄

Cross

Q: What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog?

A: Dingo Starr!  😄

Tortillas

I've just written a song about tortillas; actually, it’s more of a rap. 😂

Utensil

Q. What is a cat's fave kitchen utensil?
A. The whisk-er! 😃

Trust

Never trust a dog to watch your food. 😃

Itch

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it. 😃

Cat

Q: What did the cat on the smartphone say?
A: Can you hear meow? 😃

Gym

If you can go to the gym without telling people on the Internet, you are instantly hired by the CIA.  😃

Match

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? 😃

Rain

Q. What goes up when the rain comes down?

A.  An umbrella! 😃

Fathers

Q: How do fathers exercise on the beach?
A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini. 😃

Donut

Why did the donut go to the dentist?
To get a filling. 😃

Flag

Q. How is a flag like Santa Claus?
A. They both hang out at the pole!  😃

Dentists

Dentists, helping you put your money where your mouth is. 😃

Eye

What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.  😃

Toilet

I forgot my cell phone when I went to the toilet yesterday. We have 245 tiles.  😃

Rain

Q: When does it rain money?
A: When there is "change" in the weather. 😃

All Natural

Q: What happens after you eat an entire gallon of "All Natural" ice cream?
A: You get Breyer's remorse! 😃

Ice Cream

Q. How did Reese eat her ice cream?

A. Witherspoon.

Talk

Talk is cheap. Until you hire a lawyer. 😃

Expect

Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected? 😂

Cowboy

Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog?

He wanted to get a long little doggie.  😜

Beaches

Q. What washes up on small beaches?

A. Microwaves! 😜

Security

Q: What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store?

A: Guardians of the Galaxy. 😜

Zero

To the mathematicians who thought of the idea of zero, thanks for nothing! 😜