Happy Leap Day

Shout out to all those people born in 1936 celebrating their 21st birthday!  Happy Leap Day! 😜

It's So Cold...

It's so cold . . .
when we milked the cows, we got ice cream!  😜

It's So Cold...

It's so cold...women are thankful for hot flashes 😜

Knock Knock

Knock, knock.  Who’s there?
Icy
Icy who?
Icy you!  😜

Parking Spots

Welcome to winter where the parking spots are made up and the lines don't matter.  😜

Evergreens

Evergreens might not mind winter, but for all the other trees, spring is a great re-leaf. 😜

M&M

Q. Why did the M&M go to school?

A. It wanted to be a Smarty. 😜

Knock Knock

Knock, knock 
Who’s there? 
Scold
Scold who?
Scold outside!  😜

February

Q: Can February March?

A: No, but April May.  😜

Dog

Q. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vicious dog?

A. Frost bite!  😜

It's So Cold (911)

It's so cold . . .
when I dialed 911, a recorded message said to call back in the spring! 😜

It's So Cold (heartburn)

It's so cold... my heartburn is cured.  😃

It's So Cold (pickpockets)

It so cold . . .
pickpockets were sticking their hands in strangers' pockets just to keep them warm! 😜

It's So Cold (teeth)

It's so cold...your false teeth chatter and they are still in the glass. 😜

It's So Cold (piano)

It's so cold...We had to chop up the piano for firewood - but we only got two chords.  😜

Valentine's Day

Q. What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day?
A. Stick with me and we'll go places. 😜

Winner

The winner of the costume contest was the invisible man. He was invisible, and his wife wasn't much to look at either. 😜

Labor

A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't!" "Don't worry" said the doctor. Those are just contractions" 😃

Airline

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case  😜

Bull

What do you call a bull that likes to take a nap?

A bulldozer. 😜

Whiteboards

What’s so great about whiteboards?
If you think about it, they’re pretty re-markable! 😜

Books

My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he’s only got his shelf to blame. 😜

Chicken's Phone

Q. What sound does a chicken’s phone make?

A. Wing wing. 😜

Experience

Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience. 😜

Ice Cream

Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight from the carton how she's doing.  😜

Stamp

What did the stamp say to the envelope?

You stick with me and I will take you places!  😜

Mathematicians

Why do mathematicians tend to marry larger women?

Because they like curves. 😜

Speeding

Everybody knows 40 is the new 30, right? But the police officer giving me a speeding ticket couldn’t be persuaded.  😜

Dreamed

Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea  😜