Adam

At what time of day was Adam created?

A little before Eve. 😜

Birds

Which bird has the worst manners?

Mocking birds.  😜

Milestone

I found a rock that measured 1760 yards in length. It must be some kind of milestone.  😜

Nuts

What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are two dollars, but deer nuts are under a buck.  😜

Egg-roll

How do you make a good egg-roll?

You push it down a hill!  😜

Tea

What kind of tea did the American Colonists want?

Liberty.  😜

Player

Who was the first tennis player in the bible?

Joseph... he served in Pharaoh's court.  😜

Plots

I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought… "That's the last thing I need!"  😜

Vegetarian

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore. 😜

Ears

What has ears but cannot hear?

A cornfield.  😜

Bee

Q. What does a bee sit on?

A. His bee-hind. 😜

Barbershop

Why did the bee get fired from the barbershop? Because the only thing he could do was give a buzz-cut.  😜

Rain

Why do cows lie down in the rain?  To keep each udder dry.  😜

Dog

In the winter a dog wears his coat, but in the summer he wears his coat and pants.  😜

Pickles

Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?

Dill with it. 😜

Work

Why did the mathematician work from home?

Because he could only function in his domain. 😜

Theaters

Some movie theaters will not allow bags inside the theater.
But thank God I have a few twix up my sleeve  😜

Assaulted

A man just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy.  😜

Golf

Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course?

He was perfecting his swing 😜

Stars

How are false teeth like stars?

They come out at night!  😜

Mom

What do you call the best mother in the world?

MaxiMOM.  😜

Reporter

What was the reporter doing at the ice cream shop?

Getting the scoop!  😜

Worse

What is worse than raining cats and dogs?

Hailing taxis!  😜

Last Place

When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look?

Because when you find it, you stop looking. 😜

Nurse

“Will I be able to play the piano after this operation?”
Nurse: “Sure! Of course!”
“That’s awesome because I couldn’t before!” 😜

Happy Cinco de Mayo Day!

“I don’t like tacos” said no Juan ever. 😜

Math Teachers

Why do math teachers make good dancers?

Because they have algorithm. 😜

Lawbreaker

Q. Which servant of God was the worst lawbreaker in the Bible?

A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once. 😜

Work Out

Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out.  😜

iPad

Is your iPad making you fall asleep?

I can help—there’s a nap for that.  😜