Bald Man

Q. What did the bald man say when he received a comb for a present?

A. Thanks - I'll never part with it. 😂

Farm

Q. What kind of jokes are told on the farm?

A. Corny ones 😅

Dollar

Q. How do you buy 4 suits for a dollar?

A. Buy a deck of cards. 😃

Ark

 On the ark Noah got milk from cows.

What did he get from ducks? 

Quackers 😁

Short

Q. What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?

A. Short 😄

Fly

Q. Why do birds fly south in the Fall?

A. Because it's too far to walk.  😄

Accident

Q. Where do you take someone who has been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?

A, The ICU 😃

Cell Phone

Q. What did the cat on the cell phone say?

A. Can you hear me meow? 😃

Trees

 Q. Why are trees so forgiving?

A. Because in the Fall they "Let it go." 

Computer

 Q. Why is a computer so smart?

A. Cause it listens to the motherboard. 😄

Silence

 Silence is golden. Unless you have kids. Then silence is suspicious. 😃

Mom Joke

 You know your a mom...when picking up another human to smell their butt is not only normal but totally necessary. 😂

Terrible

 Want to hear something terrible? 

Paper. 

See? I told you it was tear-able. 😜

Autocorrect

 We'll we'll we'll...if it isn't autocorrect.  😜

Bunny

 Q. Why does the Bunny have a shiny nose?

A. His powder puff is on the wrong end. 😜

Who Wins?

Q. Sunday and Monday are in a fight. Who wins? 

A. Sunday. Monday is a weekday. 😜

Runner

 Q. Who was the fastest runner in the race?

A. Adam. He was first in the human race. 😜

Autumn

 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?

Because he always has a great fall. 😜

Pie

Q: What’s the best thing to put into an apple pie?

A: Your teeth.  😜

Tin Man

 Q. What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller?

A. "Foil again!!"  😜

Shark

 What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?

"This tastes a little funny."😜

Rain

 Q. What goes up when the rain comes down?

A. An Umbrella 😜

Scarecrow

 As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field.

But hay, it’s in my jeans. 😜

Elephant

 Q. Why did the elephant leave the circus?

A. He was tired of working for peanuts!  😜

Geographers

 Q. Why do geographers find mountains so funny?

A. Because they’re hill areas. 😜

Comfort

Q. What do you say to comfort a Grammar teacher? 

A. There Their They’re. 😜

Straight A's

Q. What's the easiest way to get straight A's? 

A. Use a ruler. 😝