Joke

Q. What does a reindeer say when he tells a joke?

A. This one will sleigh you! 😃

Lottery

Q. What would you call an elf who just won the lottery?

A. Welfy 😃

Elves

Q. What kind of music to elves listen to?

A. Wrap 😃

Flu

Q. What is the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu?

A. One requires tweetment and one requires oinkment. 😃

Jump

Q. Can a turkey jump high than the Empire State Building?

A. Yes, of course, a building can't jump at all. 😃

Banjo

Q. What do you get if you cross a turkey with a banjo?

A. A turkey that can pluck itself. 😃

Frozen Turkey

 A woman was looking through the frozen turkeys in the grocery store.  She asked the stock boy,  "Do these turkeys get any bigger?  

"No, Ma'am they're dead."  😂

Weather

Q. What kind of weather does a turkey like?

A. Fowl weather  😆

Uniform

Q.Where do football players go when they need a new uniform? 

A. New Jersey 😃

Hunter

Q. What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day?

A. "Quack, Quack!" 😂

Alive

Q. If pilgrims were alive today, what would they be known for?

A. Their age!  😃

Music

Q. What kind of music did the pilgrims listen to?

A. Plymouth Rock 😃

Separate

Q. Why did the farmer have to separate the chicken from the turkey?

A. He sensed foul play. 😃 

Phone

Q. What sound does a turkey's phone make?

A. Wing, Wing! Wing, Wing! 😃

Quit

 I've been told to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I can't just quit "cold turkey,"  😂

Ships

Q, If pilgrims traveled on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on?

A. Scholar ships 😃

Song

Q. What is the best song to play while cooking a turkey?

A. All about that baste.  😃

Key

Q, What key has legs and can't open a door?

A. A turkey 😃

Turkey

Q. What do you call a running turkey? 

A. Fast food. 😃

Pilgrims

Q. Why do pilgrims' pants always fall down?

A. Because they wear their belt buckles on their hats. 😃

Flintstones

 The people in Dubai don't like the Flintstones. But people in Abu Dhabi do. 😃

Germany

Q. What do you call pastors in Germany?

A. German Shepherds  😃

Calm Down

 Telling a girl to calm down works about as well as trying to baptize a cat. 😃

Dream

 When you dream in color, is it a pigment of your imagination? 😊

Warning Label

Phew! Thank you, warning label. I was actually considering using my toaster in the shower this morning. 😂

Wa Who

 Knock Knock

Who's there?

Wa

Wa Who?

What are you so excited about?  😂

Snacks

Q. What do you call snacks with people you like?

A. Friend chips  😃

Adam

Q. What do we have that Adam never had?

A. Ancestors 😃